Name: Brian Best.
Hometown: San Francisco, California.
Time in Kyiv: One and a half years.
What he is doing in Kyiv: Managing telecommunications and high-tech portfolios for SigmaBleyzer.
What he was doing when Ukraine declared its independence: Living with college friends in Newport Beach, California, thinking he would become a professional surfer.
Future plans: To become a member of the Nguni class of the African Zulu tribe and work his way up through their political system and then single handily rebuild the Zulu Empire.
Greatest fear: Going to work naked and realizing it was not just a bad dream.
Special talent: Sucking noodles through his nose.
First impression of Ukraine: Superior female gene pool.
Funniest Ukrainian experience: Leaving his underwear at Arizona BBQ and then having to go back and claim them. “Hey, they were brand new!”
Most important characteristic of significant other: Honesty and a sense of humor.
One thing he cannot live without: Sunshine.
Best quality: Eternal optimist.
Worst quality: Not trusting people.
How does he stay cool during the summer: By sweating.
Dream job: Head of Playboy’ talent search.
Best place he’s traveled: Kenya.
First job: A broker at Lehman Brothers.
Goal in life: To start a family and lead a meaningful life.
Best reason to stay in Ukraine: Pepper-and-honey vodka; salo.
Best reason to leave Ukraine: High cholesterol and liver damage.
What he is most proud of: His girlfriend.
What he is least proud of: Not meeting her sooner.
Favorite film: “Monty Python’s Search for the Holy Grail.”
Claim to fame: Made the front page of the San Francisco Chronicle for heisting a 15-meter statue and transporting it to his high school football field.
Key to success in life: Make the fewest mistakes.
Pet peeves: Babushkas cutting in line.
Overindulgence: Margaritas.
Under-indulgence: Exercise.
One place you would spend $1 million: The NASDAQ.
