This ex-pat standard with the revolving bar and the bartenders dancing atop the bar still manages to be the best singles bar in Kyiv
up?
Which isn’t to say that, by revealing Kyiv’s best pick-up spot, we’re trying to foster a culture of sexual license. Hardly. We’re just doing what various “marriage” agencies in this city have been doing since independence: putting single men and women in the same room and letting nature do the rest. We’re not even asking for a retainer.
Anyway, we checked out quite a few places well-known for their debauched nightlife.
Bottom of the Barrel
The first such place was ModaBar, down by the Dnipro. It was a wasted trip. When ModaBar opened in the fall of 2002, it became a top city spot for Kyiv’s single clubbers. The dance floor was relatively big, and the barge-cum-club hosted a number of cool events in quick succession in an attempt to prove its cool factor.
Within six months of opening, however, ModaBar degenerated into a seedy dump where many of Kyiv’s local “professionals” found a home where they can mix with Kyiv’s ex-pat professionals. Not exactly what we were looking for.
With no other really good social spots in Podil to inspect, the Best Of team headed towards the center, where we settled in at the so-called Green Theater night club, which actually goes by the name Ozone. But no one calls it that, including us.
The Green Theater boasts great outdoor scenery: It’s set against the backdrop of a portion of Kyiv’s old walled fortifications. Trees abound in this amphitheater-like spot, as do places to sit. In fact, there’s lots of movie theater seating behind the deejay stand, in which you can recline, and there’s lots of other space to dance, or do whatever (the theater seats look like a great place in which to engage in “whatever”).
Music at the Green Theater has typically ranged from mediocre to awful: It’s that same house garbage that can be heard virtually anywhere in the city on a Friday or Saturday night. And it’s loud. Too loud, even for an outdoor club, to the point where it wipes out conversations. Plus, the service isn’t great, which means it’s hard to get drunk enough that you’re ready to make a move on someone.
How about the beach, then? Recently opened Opium Beach Club in Hydropark seemed a sure shot to be this week’s winner. They have great music, lots of space, the virtue of being brand-spanking new, and the decor is both funky and comfortable. And it’s hard to go wrong with a romantic beach setting where you can walk arm in arm with a new special someone whom you’ve just gotten drunk at one of this club’s many well-serviced bars. We chatted up a few girls on the dance floor, and then thought about taking our smooth-guy act to the beach. That’s when we came face to face with the goons.
The deal-breaker at Opium Beach Club is the goons. They’re everywhere. Okay, we admit that it’s probably a good idea to prevent drunk idiots from going near the water (to prevent them from both drowning and urinating on that pristine, sifted sand beach), but they do go a bit overboard. After all, part of the idea of having a club at the beach is to be able to access the water.
Disappointed, we left, still searching for a true contender.
The Big Three
Art Club 44 has a world of things going for it in the pick-up department, so on the recommendation of one Best Of teamer, that’s where we headed next in our search.
Typically known just as 44, Eric Aigner’s flagship nightclub does virtually everything right when it comes to creating the perfect atmosphere for single Kyivans. To keep bodies in motion, live nightly jazz or rock music starts up, followed by the great after-hours Latin and Brazilian house music played by the D-Lights deejays. To keep anxious lips and mouths busy, there are cheap drinks and free pretzels. Many a Kyivan has met a fling or a serious partner at 44, and it’s no wonder. It’s always fun and always hopping.
Two problems with 44: hard seats and loud music. Those not dancing or standing near the bar will inevitably have to sit down on those uncomfortable wooden stools or benches. There’s one leather couch and chair combo, but like those are ever free. And Aigner simply has to do something about improving the acoustics. Yelling to hear the person sitting next to you is not the best way to keep a promising conversation going.
Tchaikovsky, with its great new Thursday night R’n’B/hip hop nights, has again become a serious place to meet people. Not that its reputation as a great party and pick-up spot ever really suffered, even in the face of competition from a host of new (albeit mostly boring) clubs that have opened in the city since December.
Tchaikovsky’s ultra-cool, ultra-hip atmosphere lends itself to sexual allure. The second-floor balcony affords people-watchers a great bird’s-eye view of the club and all the heaving bodies below. Then there are the couches, the cool-down lounge just past the entrance and the mid-level restaurant (open all night) for sharing a bite or two after the initial pick-up has been made. It’s a great combination, but it’s not the best.
The best pick-up spot in Kyiv, in the end, goes to 111. That old standard, in business since fall 2001, has remained as popular as ever with Kyiv ex-pats and locals alike, and it’s not surprising.
While other places have become stale and lost their appeal, 111 (another Aigner project) has kept its luster. Yeah, the rotating bar isn’t so remarkable anymore, nor is the bar-top dancing done nightly by the all-female bartending staff (some of whom could stand to hit the gym once in a while), but the 360-degree view from the bar is still great for checking out the action. The emphasis at 111 is still on the drinking scene and not on the deejays (who aren’t that good anyway, especially when they start playing Bill Haley and the Comets at 2 a.m.), which means everything is very convivial instead of self-consciously cool. If all anyone came to this club for was the music, they’d be sorely disappointed.
You go to 111 for the same reason you climb Everest: because it’s there. And because you know what to expect. And because you’ve had good luck there before (as we’ve had), and you want the luck to continue. At least that’s what we think.
111
Hotel Lybid;
1 Peremohy Prospect,
238-0286.
Open daily
from 10 p.m. till the last customer.
