My companion and I were the restaurant’s only customers.
Is that statement true, or is it just my massive ego showing?
If we weren’t the restaurant’s only diners, it certainly seemed that way. During our stay we noticed only one – perhaps two – other parties using the plush lounge and double-themed dining rooms at the new Egoist, continental-style restaurant in Kyiv’s Pechersk district.
The paucity of patrons is problematic: New restaurants are usually manic during their first month or so in operation, when everyone in town scurries to try “that new place.” Saturday nights are prime time in the restaurant business.
Worse still, our waitress said that the evening’s bookings weren’t all that unusual. Not a good sign for Egoist’s owners, who have spent freely to build and decorate their business, the newest addition to the capital’s expanding list of chic-cum-krutoy restaurants.
I was anxious to try the restaurant if only because its unorthodox, quirky but eye-catching advertising had caught my attention. “Do you love yourself?” the ads ask, adding nothing about the cuisine, the chef or the experience that awaits would-be diners.
It’s as if the management hopes that appealing to customers’ inflated feelings of self-worth will be enough to sustain the restaurant. If so, it’s a ploy unlikely to succeed.
The restaurant offers a small, relaxing lounge meant primarily as a waiting area and a choice of two dining rooms.
“One is dark and quiet,” said the woman taking my reservation over the phone. “The other has a television and loud music.”
“Loud pop music?” I asked.
“Loud classical music,” she replied.
The room boasting the television and loud, classical music turned out to be a room with a large TV screen tuned to a muted satellite channel, with light jazz playing in the background. The dark, quiet room featured a library motif and cozy setting ideal for an intimate dinner.
In its core, Egoist is all about style. The owners have paid immense attention to the restaurant’s graphic, culinary and interior design elements as few other Kyiv restaurants have. But as much fun as the style is, some attention should be paid to more substantial elements, like functionality and food.
The four-page menu is chaotic, with courses following no discernible order.
“We have four styles of cuisine,” our server explained. “Light, Stimulating, French and Home [Ukrainian].”
The nouvelle cuisine “light” and “stimulating” fare is also prepared with a French accent. High prices, small portions and beautiful presentation are the operative words.
Our meal started with a thumbnail-sized hors d’oeuvre served as a “gift from the chef” to accompany the half-liters of Warsteiner beer (Hr 17) we’d ordered. Next we ordered an appetizer described as “lettuce leaves with parsley dope, parmesan cheese and pear” (Hr 35). For one, the dish would have been insubstantial and tiny – for two it was a mere taste.
My companion followed up with the salad of broiled chicken with fresh figs (Hr 35), a nice-sized portion combining unusual but pleasing textures and flavor. I momentarily considered the quail eggs with caviar (Hr 45) but settled for the okroshka (Hr 18), a cold Ukrainian soup that combines a kvas base with vegetables to create one of the nicest summer soups I’ve ever had.
With most entrees priced between Hr 60 and Hr 130, Egoist is no place for a budget meal.
My companion selected a fried pork chop (Hr 30) from the Ukrainian side of the restaurant’s menu, and a side of boiled potatoes (Hr 12). The slightly salty boneless pork was large on the surface but thin where it should have been thick, akin to the cutlets I’ve met in the local cafes.
I ordered the broiled quail stuffed with grapes and red wine, served with potatoes au gratin (Hr 70). While unexceptional, it was well-prepared and well-presented, as was Egoist’s other fare.
Whether Egoist survives in Kyiv’s competitive up-scale restaurant market will depend on more than its food. Average continental food and artsy decor, combined with an inscrutable theme and hodge-podge menu leave it in the unenviable position of starting from the middle of the pack.
