Garage markets itself as a “concept” bar. Clearly, the “concept” it was aiming for does not involve making money.
It does involve a patently obvious car theme. If the name weren’t enough to tip you off, the walls are adorned with hubcaps, bottles of motor oil, license plates and assorted car parts. Some of the tables are fashioned out of refurbished car hoods. The floors are the textured iron variety found in the non-slip areas of factories.
Yet, not for a moment do you feel that you are actually in a garage. Say what you like about Promzona, but it managed to take the industrial theme and run with it. In this garage, even the hubcaps sparkle.
Garage typifies the sort of crass, Hard Rock Cafe style adornment that is often the norm in Kyiv. In attempts to throw evidence of the intended concept all over the place, Garage’s management has engineered a total absence of atmosphere. The concept had potential. There is a gaping pothole in the local entertainment culture. A grungy cheap underground hangout would have been a welcome addition. Instead, Garage has turned out to be yet another sterile theme bar.
Despite the obvious fortune the management has spent on the interior, Garage could use some layout repair. The bar area is festooned with wooden tables, making it look more like a restaurant. The tables themselves are far apart and manage to be both large and accommodate very few people, negating the possibility for socializing. Then there’s the disco proper, a small blue room with a DJ in one corner, a couple of lounges along the wall and very few dancers in between. There is no casual transition. You’re either dining or dancing.
Garage has prices comparable to bars like the The Drum and Eric’s Bierstube. But the menu is annoying. Every section is labeled with the diminutive – as in “Would you care for a beer-chyk?”
You can feast on the Garage Burger (Hr 32), the Mercedes Steak (Hr 34) or the Radiator Chicken (Hr 24). French fries, onion rings and other standard bar nibbles are also under the hood. Garage also serves eggs and omelets for breakfast, including the Taxi Breakfast, which includes three eggs and bacon or sausage (Hr 14).
Garage serves a limited array of draft beers, including Taller, the only local option (Hr 7 for half-liter) and Stella Artois, the Budweiser of Belgian beers (Hr 9). It also serves the typical range of vodkas from Kazakhskaya Rada (Hr 7 per 50 grams) to Pervak (Hr 3). There is a selection of bottled beer including Corona and Heineken in the mid-teens.
“Stop, Fill ‘er up, Relax” is the clubs motto. However, most clients simply seem to stop, pull a quick U-turn, and return to where they came from. In this case, they came from Ultra. Lured by the absence of an entry fee, Garage’s clients are predominantly students and young club mavens, dressed to impress with retro garb and baggy pants.
Even a recent disco party featuring DJ Sokolov couldn’t seem to bring them in. Well, it brought them in, but after surveying the scene, most decided to find another place to park.
