As a teenager growing up in Ukraine in the 2000-2010s, I had to educate myself on sex.
There was no course or lessons on sexual attraction, behavior and connected topics in my school. Scenes from Hollywood movies portraying teachers handing out condoms to students and lecturing them on sex seemed as alien to me as to any other teenager living in conventional Ukraine, which inherited a taboo on sex from the Soviet Union. It was as hard to believe other countries approached the topic so openly, as it was sad to realize how much Ukraine lagged behind.
So instead, I had to pull together knowledge from magazines, discussions with peers and older friends, rare online articles, porn films and the personal experience itself.
If there was a book that would have answered all the questions swirling in my head, the journey of my self-exploration might have been less adventurous but it definitely would have been easier. And for some teenagers, I’m sure, a publication like that might have changed lives drastically, helping them accept their bodies, understand sexual pleasure better, prevent them from unwanted pregnancy or tolerating abuse.
One of Ukraine’s most-respected publishing houses for children, A-ba-ba-ha-la-ma-ha, has recently released a book that had been announced as that progressive kind of publication that would educate teenagers on first love, sex and the many physical transformations they are undergoing. But “For Teenagers About the Most Important: Everything That Interests Boys and Girls,” not only didn’t deliver the promised progressiveness, it also turned out to be in part factually wrong, unethical and simply out of touch with modern times.
The book was written by Oksana Romashchenko, Marlena Bush and Svitlana Vozianova, or as the abstract states, three well-known specialists and doctors of sciences in the fields of physiology, sexopathology and dermatovenereology.
The publication indeed offers some useful information for teens, like the one about body changes during puberty, sexually transmitted infections, various kinds of contraception methods, abuse in family and more.
But all of it is somehow mixed with utter ignorance and disinformation.
In the section about love, the authors give girls advice on how to attract the attention of boys (yes, boys only, but we’ll get to that later). Among other things, they recommend unbinding their hair because “all men like beautiful hair.” The statement is so blatantly generalized that it gives a completely false idea that all men are the same and they are attracted to the same things. But the generalization is the lesser evil here. While the progressive countries are trying to battle the unrealistic beauty standards inflicted on women through media and pop culture and, as a result, affecting their self-esteem, the book points girls to their appearance as one of the key things to be liked for.
Later in the same section, the authors say that girls shouldn’t try to stand out by smoking, drinking alcohol and being liberated because that’s not what their peers would approve of (total nonsense and a generalization again). And that’s definitely not what their peers would be attracted to if they’re seeking a serious relationship, the book states. “After all, you want a serious relationship?” it says. Who said that? Not only the book doesn’t give any insight into the many different forms of relationships couples can have, it judges those who might want anything but the conventional one. Are we back in the Middle Age?
In the “Sexuality” section, the book says that homosexuality can be caused by several factors including wrong upbringing in the family, problematic communication with parents, psychological complexes, fears and media influence. It also adds that modern science supposes the biological nature of homosexuality.
That is simply wrong and has no evidence. One of the very recent and biggest studies on homosexuality proved that genes account for 8-25% of same-sex behavior. Earlier studies documented same-sex behavior in 450 species aside from humans (media influence?), while also proving that about 2-10% of people across cultures report same-sex relations.
The book says that homosexual people have existed from ancient times and were surrounded by a lack of understanding and shame. It also mentions several slurs that the religious community used to call homosexual individuals. The publication, however, doesn’t warn that the terms are unacceptable and offensive and shouldn’t be in use. Later in the book, they offer “blue” as a progressive term. There is nothing more progressive than calling a thing and people exactly the way they are – gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender. The use of euphemisms like “blue” only further spreads the taboo on the topic.
Later on, the book brings up a term that was used in Ancient Rome for calling lesbian women, which originates from Greek “tribean” (rub) because lesbian women feel sexual pleasure from rubbing against each other. First of all, all people have different preferences when it comes to sexual satisfaction. Second, all women, heterosexual included, might enjoy all sorts of rubbing. In fact, only 18% of women experience orgasms from penetrative sex. But the book’s authors didn’t find it important to include this and other useful facts that could help girls understand female pleasure better.
Although the publication sparked outrage in the media, its edition was sold out immediately upon release. Moreover, numerous parents thanked the publishing house online for finally compiling a book for teenagers that has no alternatives in the country.
Ukraine still has no state programs on sex education and the society struggles with xenophobia, especially towards the LGBTQ community. Thanks to human rights non-profits that promote tolerance and initiatives like Vpershe website that educates the public on sex, the country is moving forward to become more progressive. But one irresponsibly issued book might derail any brittle progress that has been achieved, misleading a generation of teenagers who will have to reeducate themselves.
And in the age of such products as the U.K. “Sex Education” series that approaches the topic in such a bold, informative and heartfelt way that adults could learn from it, a book like that appears to be at the very least outmoded, if not absolutely ludicrous. Modern teenagers will rather treat it as a joke than a guide.
