Women outnumber men in Ukraine by a million or so, a gap that widens with age.
Since men have a life expectancy of 63, nearly 10 years less than women, romantic possibilities can be especially slim for older women.
But retirees have had much worse problems to contend with, including collapse of the Soviet Union, economic hardship and, for the oldest, World War II.
And, since hope dies last, senior citizens in Ukraine are catching up with their peers online in learning how to find mates online.
While older Ukrainians use the Internet less than the younger generation, a simple online search returns hundreds of singles’ profiles from people 50 years of age or older.
Former police officer Nikolai, 61, joined the dating service almost a year ago by chance.
While too shy to disclose his last name, the silver-haired man with a proud military posture admits that he had three serious attempts to build relationships with women he met online.
“I met women who I liked, even if they were from other cities,” Nikolai said by telephone. “We agreed that if we like each other, we’d move in together.
Love knows no age or time, especially online, where a little searching can lead to lasting joy.
But it never worked out. They were all nice and decent women, but… something was missing.
A sparkle perhaps.”
Many seniors can relate to Nikolai’s situation. Out of 13.7 million pensioners in Ukraine, more than half are divorced or widowers, according to the Ukrainian Bureau of Statistics.
And most of them search for things that help fight loneliness: friendship, sex and love.
“I set myself a goal. I need to find her before winter comes,” Nikolai said.
The former police officer learned computer skills at work. Others pick up perks of the digital age either from their grandchildren, who pass the knowledge along with old computers, or by going to a special university.
In Kyiv, Dnipropetrovsk, Volyn and Cherkasy Oblasts, city authorities opened schools for pensioners calling them Institutes of the Third Age.
“The most popular course here is computers,” said Lubov Krutko, a supervisor from Alfred Nobel’s Institute of the Third Age in Dnipropetrovsk.
The school opened three years ago, offering seniors classes in practical psychology, management, advertising and merchandising. There is no tuition fee.
“In our first year we had 432 stu
dents and our oldest student was 91.”
They graduate with certificates, new skills and most importantly new friendships, Krutko added. Learning how to use the Internet introduces elders to another way of socializing.
Sometimes love comes unexpectedly, from young students living in small towns and villages. Young women pursue older men, offering “pure feelings” in exchange for housing, said Nikolai, who lives in Crimea.
The former police officer said he turns down these kinds of offers: “Yes, I search not only for platonic love but also for a physical relationship. But I don’t want to buy it.”
Yuriy from Odesa, 63, who also shies away from revealing his last name, has a similar complaint.
“A 43-year-old witch stole my heart, took my money and dumped me after we came back from vacations,” he wrote in a message at dating site.
Detecting gold diggers is not the only problem. Another single, 70-year-old Yuriy complained that older women don’t care about physical love and offer him pickling vegetables together instead.
The dating female online camp also has grudges to file. They blame 50 plus men for courting young models online.
On Nov. 9 senior students of Kyiv Institute of the Third Age learned how to register on Facebook and other Internet skills. Computer classes, say Institute officials, became the most popular course
“Nothing looks serious on this website,” said Ludmyla, 60, from Beregovo. After six months online, she understood that “seniors are not interested in seniors” and created her own club for those “Who turned 30 … twice.”
Calling it a social online community, which helps elders to get to know each other, Ludmyla puts the romantic pressure off her subscribers and encourages them to make friends before anything else.
“In the mornings we jog on the river bank. We also keep a healthy diet together and exchange recipes and perform gymnastics,” said brunette Lyudmila, who like most other online friendly singles, is not willing to reveal her last name.
Nevertheless, online dating does sometimes end in serious relationships.
The story of Leonid and Iryna proves inspirational for digital love newcomers. Iryna, 61, plans to move from Simferopol to Sudak, also in Crimea, to join Leonid, 69, in December.
“Love knows no age, look at me,” said Iryna, who celebrated her first anniversary with Leonid in October.
Kyiv Post staff writer Yuliya Raskevich can be reached at [email protected]
