Those who celebrate Valentine’s Day wake up in that morning with a sense of anticipation.
A romantic dinner, a movie in the last row of the cinema and a seasoning of heart shapes, flowers and candy can await happy couples.
But there are plenty of people who would like to celebrate, but cannot spend the day with their beloved. Their love might be serving a romantic dinner to someone else, crossing the ocean in a plane or a ship or even staying behind bars to pay for their crime.
The “I love you” message in those couples is more difficult to send and receive, but they manage nevertheless.
Inmates and their other halves probably have it tougher than most: they cannot call each other freely and there are no extra visiting dates allowed on Valentine’s Day even for married couples. And, of course, there is no shop in prison selling heart-shaped trinkets to send back to your love.
Hennadiy, a 40-something former inmate who was too shy to disclose his name for print, said that when he was behind bars he asked his relatives and friends to secretly bring him a card months ahead of the holiday, so he had enough time to forward it to his beloved.
Sometimes the craftier inmates make pictures themselves. Their less lucky cellmates who did not have relatives willing to help in the love business would buy those custom-made works.
“Now that I am free, I give my wife toys, candies and cards,” Hennadiy says. But he noted that in Ukraine it’s mostly the younger people who care about this Western holiday, named after the Catholic bishop Valentine, who – ironically – also sent love letters out of prison in ancient Rome. Hennadiy said the holiday that older inmates care about is International Women’s Day, celebrated on March 8.
Olena Musienko, the 50-year-old wife of a sailor,who also spends many Valentine’s Days alone, agreed that it’s a foreign holiday for the former Soviet republics.
“This holiday is more about our children,” she says. “The most important date to remember for our husbands is March 8. Most of the time we have to wait until they come back months later and make it up to us, but if my husband does remember about St. Valentine’s, he tries to organize some flowers or candy delivery.”
“Most of the time he bribes our daughters ahead of time to organize it for him,” Musienko laughs.
Sailors’ wives like to tell the story of a seaman who had been clever and foresighted enough to hide presents for all holidays before going away. True or not, but the legend says he hid jewelry in a back yard and a watch in a ventilation shaft because his wife loved cleaning and would find them in the house, spoiling the fun.
Those who work on the special day try to squeeze in a romantic surprise for their beloved nevertheless. Mykhailo, a 22 year-old barman working in Kyiv, says he has planned a surprise for his girlfriend, despite the fact that he has a day-long shift. He did not want his last name printed in case his girlfriend reads the story before Feb. 14.
He says the plan is to call her and ask her to come to his work, pretending he needs her help with something. “When she comes over, I’ll take her to a specially set table and serve her a beautiful dinner. Our cook is my friend so he’ll draw her name and heart on dessert. That is how I can be with my girlfriend on that day.”
His plan may not be easy to executive. The cafe is packed on that day, with clients wanting two things that clash: intimacy as well as fast, attentive service.
The young barman says his colleagues are not planning anything on the day because they expect it to be one of the busiest days of the year, and the best present they want is “a good tip and a rest afterwards.”
Hennadiy, the former inmate, says that one can find a way to celebrate if it really matters for you. “I believe it depends on the person,” he says. “If you want to show your love you’ll a way to do it, no matter where you are.”
Kyiv Post staff writer Yuliya Raskevich can be reached at [email protected].
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