World Affairs Journal: Yanukovych’s Absurdistan

Regionnaire-ruled Ukraine moved a few notches closer to becoming a Surrealistic country this summer. Judge for yourselves.

On June 22nd, the Dzerkalo tyzhnya weekly reported [1] on a really swell strategic defense initiative developed by Ukraine’s minister of defense, the tough-guy brawler and pogromchik Dmitri Salamatin. The minister’s got his thinking cap on, and he’s come up with 78 new forms of “economic activities” for Ukraine’s underfunded, undernourished, and undertrained armed forces. If Dmitri has his way, Ukraine’s soldiers will soon be raising cattle, horses, birds, pigs, sheep, and goats and growing berries, nuts, and fruits. Hey, who needs NATO, when you’ve got swine in your backyard? So remember, next time you have a steak in Ukraine, you’re really helping Dmitri of the Big Fists transform Ukraine’s soldiers into a world-class fighting force.

Peanuts, anyone?